Y'all Got Any More of Them Head Coaches?
Dave Chapelle on the Chapelle show had a few memes lined up, even though his show was like, what… 40 years before the Internet was mainstream? There are two memes specifically that come to mind when talking about head coaches for teams in Cyprus.
That’s one…
The second one, you could associate with a general lack of patience in football that has crept into even the biggest leagues. For example, look at how much time a manager has to work at Chelsea, before he's shown the door. Last season they went through 4 different head coaches (including 2 interim ones).
When your head coach doesn't win you a league after 10 games, fire them into the sun and get another off the conveyor belt.
And there’s the other one…
The Cypriot Leagues are no different. Everyone has joked so much already about Karmiotissa and the number of coaches they have been through between the summer of 2022 and the time of writing this article (we’re on number 9). But, this article will look at who have been the shortest-reigning managers in the league. I will be doing this by days, because if we go by matches, some of these short reigns wouldn't even make it to the list. And, believe it or not, in Cyprus, this isn’t a modern problem.
The 2023-2024 season has seen some short managerial tenures already with Doxa, Ethnikos, Karmiotissa, AEL, Apollon and Othellos already firing 2 coaches each and we have just completed the 20th matchday, with Toni Koskela being the latest casualty. Makis Sergides lasted 20 days at Doxa and he doesn't even make this list of the Top 5 shortest head coach reigns.
5. Arie Haan (Omonia Nicosia November 14-November 30 2000) 16 days
“Oooh”
Probably the only positive story (at least for the coach) out of the five we will be looking at. The Dutch coach, prior to agreeing to join Omonia, had 16 years of head coach experience including at clubs like Anderlecht twice, Stuttgart, Standard Liege and PAOK twice. He had just finished a season at Paniliakos in Greece. He had won a League in Belgium with Anderlecht in 1985/86 and a Belgian Cup with Standard Liege in 1992/93.
On Omonia's side, the 2000/2001 season had started well enough with 3 wins from the first 3 games vs Aris, AEP Pafos and Doxa, but then followed a run of form that included a loss vs Olympiakos, draws with Paralimni and Nea Salamina and AEL. That run of form meant the end of Asparuh Nikodimov's 135 day reign.
Haan took over on the 14th of November and his first game 4 days later was an Aionio Derby vs APOEL as the away team. Great introduction for football in Cyprus. Omonia lost the game 1-0.
His second game in charge on 25th November was vs AEK and Omonia beat them 2-0 in Nicosia. The next Omonia game would have been on 3rd December vs Digenis Akritas Morphou, however life had other plans for Arie Haan. Austria Vienna showed an interest in him for a Director of Football role, and he wanted to jump at the chance and requested from the club to let him talk to the Austrian club. Omonia obliged and on 30th November the club announced that Haan had left, and on the 1st December, Austria Vienna announced Haan as their new Director of Football. He then went on to manage Stuttgart Kickers, the Chinese National Team, Piroozi FC in Iran, the Cameroon and Albania National Teams, CQ Lifan, TJ Teda (twice) and SY Shenbei (all in China) and he is currently Technical Director at Guangxi Pingguo Haliao which is a team in the second level of the Chinese football pyramid.
Haan’s replacement at Omonia was another Dutchman, Henk Houwaart who lasted 1 day short of a full calendar year. Omonia ended the 2000/2001 season as Champions and were knocked out of the Cup in the semi-finals on penalties. Haan was Director of Football at Austria Vienna until March, after which he took over first team head coach responsibilities until the 7th Matchday of the season after.
4. Panikos Xiouroupas (Paralimni 9 December-23 December 2008) 14 days
Xiouroupas did not have any head coach experience before he took the reins at Paralimni in December 2008. Prior to his short tenure at Paralimni, Marios Konstantinou did something which is unheard of in quite a lot of teams in Cyprus. He lasted longer than a year. 434 days to be precise. In fact, after Matchday 12 of the season in question, which was Konstantinou’s last match in charge the team was in 10th out of 14 teams.
So in comed Panikos Xiouroupas instead. On 13th December, Paralimni beat AEP Pafos in Pafos 2-0 which moved them up into 8th position. Following this, Paralimni had an 11 day break, before facing Omonia in Nicosia.
Paralimni lost 7-1.
The day after, Paralimni announced the divorce with Xiouroupas.
Adamos Isaac took over the team on a caretaker basis over Christmas, before they announced Bulgarian coach Eduard Erasonyan, who was also gone before February came around, and then Antonis Kleftis (literally, Tony the Thief) took over until the end of the season. Paralimni finished in the Relegation Play-Off places (10th place), and in the Play-Offs they managed to avoid relegation.
As for Xiouroupas, following the Christmas break in January 2009, he took over Alki Larnaca, and suffered a relegation with them. In his first match as head coach of Alki, he beat Paralimni 2-1, but apart from that he got 4 draws and two more wins. It took him until August 15th to find his next job with Ermis Aradhippou, where he lasted until 23rd October, after drawing 2 of his 7 matches in charge. The rest were defeats.
Xiouroupas’ plane if he was a pilot
3. Marinos Satsias (Karmiotissa 25 September-7 October 2023) 12 days
Satsias does not need much of an introduction to fans of football in Cyprus. He is one of a few players in his generation that would be considered a legend for his career at APOEL, spending 19 years in and around the APOEL first team, making his debut as a 17 year old and rising up to the point of being captain of the team. As a player he won 8 Championships, 6 Cups and 8 Super Cups. He also played in APOEL’s first Champions League run in the group stages 3 times in 2009-10, and also played vs Real Madrid in APOEL’s Quarter Final match in Spain in 2011/12. He also won 65 caps with the national team between 2000 and 2012, some of which include the 4-4 draw with Portugal, the 4-1 win vs Bulgaria, the 3-1 win against Wales and the 5-2 win against Ireland.
With his playing career at APOEL, it was natural for him to move into a coaching role at APOEL where acted as the assistant to Thorsten Frink, Domingos Paciencia, Temuri Ketsbaia and Georgios Kostis. He also took charge of two APOEL games as Caretaker Manager, which were a 1-1 draw with AEK and a 4-2 win vs Ermis Aradhippou.
Following his work at APOEL, he headed off to pastures new, taking charge of Ethnikos Latsion in the lower divisions, then Omonia Aradhippou in the Second Division for almost 2 seasons, at AE Spartis in Greece for 1 month, Anagenisi Derynias, the Cyprus U16s, Ermis Aradhippou for 15 games and Doxa between March and May 2021. In June 2021 he joined Paralimni where he stayed for 2 seasons, getting them promoted into the First Division, and fighting relegation up to the last game of the season, where some would argue, Paralimni were cheated.
He left Paralimni following their relegation and in September, Karmiotissa called, following the sacking of Florin Bratu. Who wouldn’t jump at the chance to be Karmiotissa’s 8th manager since the summer of 2022?
Karmiotiss is currently going through a very disruptive time, even for Karmiotissa’s standards, with former owner Dmitry Punin pulling out of the club and taking all his money with him. There were no official announcements by the club that Florin Bratu had been sacked or resigned, except for his post-match press conference where he said it would be his last match managing the team.
There was no official announcement that Satsias had started coaching the team either, only a picture of him taking the first training session on 25th September. Later Karmiotissa’s Director of Football Giannis Violaris (from now on will be called Johnny Violins) announced when questioned by the press that Satsias was in fact in charge of first team affairs.
Satsias’ first match in charge of Karmiotissa was a 0-0 draw vs Othellos. The week later he presided over a 2-0 loss to Nea Salamina.
On the 7th October, it was being reported that Satsias had left Karmiotissa, which on his rounds on that morning’s radio shows, Johnny Violins confirmed that this was the case, as Satsias was not happy with the team and didn’t feel he could achieve anything with them. Johnny Violins then bemoaned the fact that there are a lot of managerial changeovers in the league and the societal issue in football regarding the results driven nature. Because Karmiotissa are not at fault for their nine head coaches since summer 2022.
Nine.
The number nine.
Next one’s free
We’re in January 2024 as of writing this. That means the average lifetime of a Karmiotissa head coach is about 2 months.
Coach number nine at Karmiotissa is also coaches number 2 and 4, Christos Charalambous.
Satsias has since been hired by Ethnikos Achnas.
2. Victor Basadre (Doxa Katokopias 13 January-23 January 2023) 10 days
Doxa appointed popular coach Ricardo Cheu in August 2022. Cheu would introduce himself prior to every pre and post-match press conference with all members of the press who were willing to show up to a press conference of Doxa Katokopia’s coach. He was popular with the players as well and getting them performing for their games but ultimately not getting results. The final straw was the disappointing performance against Paralimni at home, losing 3-0.
Cheu only managed 3 league wins and 2 draws in the 16 league games he was in charge, and a first round cup win vs Othellos.
Kypros Mouzoros took over in the interim between Cheu and original replacement Lito Vidigal. Vidigal walked away from Doxa before officially signing his contract even though he took training for 6 days.
The team therefore turned to Basadre instead. Basadre had plenty of experience in Spain with plenty of third and fourth pyramid level teams, Volos in Greece, Sudova in Lithuania and Spartaks in Latvia.
Prior to signing for the team, Basadre went and saw 8 games in the 10 days he was in charge, including the one he coached to research the league, as he referenced on Twitter:
Basadre’s only game in charge was a 3-1 loss to Pafos in Pafos on 21st January. Basadre left on the 23rd January. Doxa thanked him for his services for the 10 days he was there, but what is more telling, is the post he put out on Twitter after the announcement.
Guy Levy (Apollon Limassol July 1-July 10 2011) 9 days
Prior to arriving to Apollon, Levy had worked with a plethora of teams in his native Israel, starting at Hapoel Petah Tikva in 1994 and keeping himself continuously busy all the way to the summer of 2011. Included in his experience was a 4 year stint as the Israel U21s National Team manager, where 2 of his 26 games were 1-0 wins vs the Cyprus U21s.
On Apollon’s side, the season prior, they had finished 5th in the league, and lost in the cup final on penalties vs Omonia.
According to several reports, the appointment of the Israeli did not go over easily and quite a few board members were against him from the off. One of those against his appointment was sporting director Christos Potamitis, who later announced his resignation for “personal reasons”. This resignation led to heavy pressure on the remaining board from the fans to find a different solution, one which the remaining board members opposing his hiring in the first place wanted instead: Didier Ollé-Nicolle.
Levy was told not to come to Cyprus for pre-season training and his contract was put in the bin after 9 days.
He took the recommendation to not leave Israel to heart, and he has since only worked in the country as a coach, taking over teams line Beitar Jerusalem, Hapoel Be’er Sheva and Hapoel Tel Aviv.
*As an interesting side note, Didier Ollé-Nicolle lasted until the beginning of November. He then went on a whirlwind tour of different French speaking clubs, from Algeria’s USM Alger to the PSG women’s team in 2021. He was fired in 2022 due to reports of him sexually harassing underage players, which turned out to be fabricated by a player’s agent to blackmail Ollé-Nicolle to get his client a 3 year contract at PSG.
“And a lot of people ask why. Why treat the managers this way?”
Clubs in Cyprus: “Why? Cos f**k ‘em, that’s why!”
